"But I don’t feel like dancin’ when the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance but my two feet can’t find a way
You'd think that I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’ no sir no dancin’ today
I don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if I find nothing better to do
I don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Why'd you break it down when I’m not in the mood?
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’…"
-- Scissor Sisters
I feel my dancin’ moves are gone south blue and my spark is gone in the dark… what happened? I am not sure. In every other aspect of my life I feel great and I know/feel a better person everyday but I am struggling a little bit in this area. Maybe people don’t feel the spark with me because I really don’t feel the spark in me LOL makes sense? I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway but the problem is that I don’t feel like taking the chance and the worse is that I don’t feel like dancin in the moves of the right dating/loving way. I think/feel am not over my last relation… at least not yet, perhaps so? I am not sure!
My therapist told me “it is ok to go out in dates, there is nothing wrong with you and because you go out in a date doesn’t mean you are going to marry the person, it is good to meet people that way!” and she adds “you are young, smart, and good looking, a great catch for someone”…
I tell you what; if I hear that “great catch” phrase again I am going to piss all over the person! Yesterday in my 3 hr mtn bike ride I thought about my relations and dating situations to realize that all and I mean ALL (since I came out) have ended up with statements that go like this:
-“You are a wonderful, amazing, thoughtful, sweet, beautiful, smart person, one of the best persons that has come into my life and I am so fortune to have had the opportunity to know you; lucky the one that wins your heart… and when that happens I’ll be really sad… but you are not the right person for me”
-“You are a very lovely person, a little too systematic at times but I know you mean the best, you can be really funny and overall you are beautiful and great, but I prefer to have you just as a friend because you are not the right person for me, but you’ll be a great catch for someone”
- “You are smart, cute, sweet, nice, a sensual kisser, but I don’t feel the spark I need to feel with someone I am dating… you’ll be a great catch for someone for sure”
“Hey there, you didn’t say or do anything wrong or anything to offend me, now I am too busy but I am sure you’ll be a great catch for someone”
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL LOL LOL really! LOL How come they tell me I can be a great catch for the rest of the Universe but I think when the rest of the Universe meets me they might tell me the same LOL LOL, really!
So during my 3 hrs of mtn biking I was thinking “what’s wrong? Why everyone tells me I am all these adjectives but I end up not being the right person for them… where do things go south blue? What is it that all of them have in common? But if all of them say the same then it has to be something related with me?”
I guess this is another of those issues I need to figure out for my own mental safe sakes… It makes me feel strange even if I am not so much into the person… but just having the same thing and phrases over and over makes me wonder… Also, I wonder how come if other people can solve problems that have had an impact on their relations (some of them go to the point of breaking up) and get back together, why are my relations the exception? Again, there is something wrong… maybe is it related to the people I get into relations with? Maybe is the people that chooses me for a relation/dating? Mmmm
Ahh who knows….
In other very important news UCF lost to Texas by just 3 points!!! My boys played a GREAT game and I am so proud of them! I was at the sport bar (I think I was one of the few girls there and the only one wearing my school jersey) the only UCF Knight there vs. a bunch of Texas Longhorns guys… and heck I was jumping around… and getting into trash talking with the guys LOL… Ah what a wonderful Saturday!
My heart could take a chance but my two feet can’t find a way
You'd think that I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’ no sir no dancin’ today
I don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if I find nothing better to do
I don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Why'd you break it down when I’m not in the mood?
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’…"
-- Scissor Sisters
I feel my dancin’ moves are gone south blue and my spark is gone in the dark… what happened? I am not sure. In every other aspect of my life I feel great and I know/feel a better person everyday but I am struggling a little bit in this area. Maybe people don’t feel the spark with me because I really don’t feel the spark in me LOL makes sense? I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway but the problem is that I don’t feel like taking the chance and the worse is that I don’t feel like dancin in the moves of the right dating/loving way. I think/feel am not over my last relation… at least not yet, perhaps so? I am not sure!
My therapist told me “it is ok to go out in dates, there is nothing wrong with you and because you go out in a date doesn’t mean you are going to marry the person, it is good to meet people that way!” and she adds “you are young, smart, and good looking, a great catch for someone”…
I tell you what; if I hear that “great catch” phrase again I am going to piss all over the person! Yesterday in my 3 hr mtn bike ride I thought about my relations and dating situations to realize that all and I mean ALL (since I came out) have ended up with statements that go like this:
-“You are a wonderful, amazing, thoughtful, sweet, beautiful, smart person, one of the best persons that has come into my life and I am so fortune to have had the opportunity to know you; lucky the one that wins your heart… and when that happens I’ll be really sad… but you are not the right person for me”
-“You are a very lovely person, a little too systematic at times but I know you mean the best, you can be really funny and overall you are beautiful and great, but I prefer to have you just as a friend because you are not the right person for me, but you’ll be a great catch for someone”
- “You are smart, cute, sweet, nice, a sensual kisser, but I don’t feel the spark I need to feel with someone I am dating… you’ll be a great catch for someone for sure”
“Hey there, you didn’t say or do anything wrong or anything to offend me, now I am too busy but I am sure you’ll be a great catch for someone”
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL LOL LOL really! LOL How come they tell me I can be a great catch for the rest of the Universe but I think when the rest of the Universe meets me they might tell me the same LOL LOL, really!
So during my 3 hrs of mtn biking I was thinking “what’s wrong? Why everyone tells me I am all these adjectives but I end up not being the right person for them… where do things go south blue? What is it that all of them have in common? But if all of them say the same then it has to be something related with me?”
I guess this is another of those issues I need to figure out for my own mental safe sakes… It makes me feel strange even if I am not so much into the person… but just having the same thing and phrases over and over makes me wonder… Also, I wonder how come if other people can solve problems that have had an impact on their relations (some of them go to the point of breaking up) and get back together, why are my relations the exception? Again, there is something wrong… maybe is it related to the people I get into relations with? Maybe is the people that chooses me for a relation/dating? Mmmm
Ahh who knows….
In other very important news UCF lost to Texas by just 3 points!!! My boys played a GREAT game and I am so proud of them! I was at the sport bar (I think I was one of the few girls there and the only one wearing my school jersey) the only UCF Knight there vs. a bunch of Texas Longhorns guys… and heck I was jumping around… and getting into trash talking with the guys LOL… Ah what a wonderful Saturday!
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