So...

I am 30… wow!

It seemed like years ago when I was a littlie pup and I used to say “I want to be 30-35 and stop there.” I used to see people at that age married to their sweet hearts, with kids, a house, couple pets, nice jobs, and very much stabled. Well, in a blink of an eye I am that age and pretty much all I have going is the job and pet deal (a cat which I never thought I would end up with).

Which brings me to the question, WTF happened? LOL…

I am working on my issues and I believe I am more stabled than ever, happier, healthier, more compassionate and loving, not to mentioned that I am good looking and modest (ha ha joke!)… I thought things would unravel into better and greater things… but somehow this past month has been quite a roller coaster full of emotions and feelings that I didn’t know I had! (Not to mention situation happened that I didn’t see coming).

My eyes are opened in a new ways, in better and more optimistic ways but at times suck… At times I wonder and question things… to come to the conclusion that perhaps I just have to let things be the way they are supposed to be and not question them…it took me 30 years to come to this conclusion…

A month ago I wouldn’t have expected to be here today at my b-day dealing with hurt… sure I am moving on… but still hurts… I wouldn’t have expected to be celebrating the “big one” alone, with my cat, and a bunch of boxes to unpack… it is just strange the way things work… in some way, all I have is the hope to hold on for there must be better and brighter things to come.

Last night, as I thought about all these things… I stayed up until a little bit after 12 am… that’s around the time I was born… and I watched my favorite episode of Sex and the City (season four is the best!) “Soul Mate” that’s when Carrie turned 35… single, 35, and alone… asking herself where is that soul mate and how things work the way they do?

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

How true… Happy B-Day to me! And thanks to those that have dropped some good b-day wishes notes… I am amazed! Thank you all!

3 comments:

  1. Miki said...

    Happy Birthday Yoshitoshi, you old woman. I won't even tell you how old I am. But at my wizened age, I also have cats, no marriage, and no kids to show. On top of that I'm back in school again. Some would say that I am delayed, but more importantly I am happy person for the most part and I could not be here today without all the stupid stuff I did before it. So there. :p
    It's all goood, she says. Cheers!

  2. Daribella said...

    Welcome to the 30's my dear friend! Never thought you get there uh? It's not that bad, afterall age is just a number. I miss you, and you are always close to my heart. I just had the opportunity of reading your emails,because I don't have any internet (for now). Got my place, finally! Been through a lot, but I'm still standing...that's what matters. Most of all I wish you more happy days!! Hugs from la vieja chancluda.

  3. Yoshitoshi said...

    Hey thank y'all for the b-day whishes... still, I can't believe I am 30!! like one of my friend's friend said "holy fuck!" LOL LOL



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