As the year comes to an end I’ve come to realize a lot of things… such as the person that I am, the person I want to be, and the kind of people I want in my life… especially the kind of relations I want.
At the same time I get a little nostalgic/sad of thinking about all the things that happened this year… Gosh I never expected my life to take the turns, lows, and highs that it took, wow they were quite and experience.
I felt crazy in-love for the very first time of my life… and I had my heart broken for the first time too. I ended up in the hospital spending a week in a situation I never thought I would be in… I found my escape and terms of sanity in mtn biking-running… I’ve made new friendships and met some wonderful people along the way of recovering and pulling out of the ashes…
I found peace, understanding, love, forgiveness, and happiness for myself and others… I found my religion and a group of all welcoming people at the Unitarian Universalistic church. I found a more sense of purpose by helping others and volunteering…
Today as I write these lines I can finally see that I’ve come a long way… and there is nothing more than a brighter and greater future ahead of me.
Today I feel liberated, I can breathe, I can feel, I can smile….Everything that happened before is just what it needed to happen in order to continue with my personal, emotional, mental, and spiritual growth; I wouldn’t change a thing even if they hurt me I love them all!
Very soon I’ll be gone… good-bye to Asheville and hello Harrisburg… my life will turn around and I am sure that once again there will be more experiences… more people coming into my life, more highs, more lows, feelings, curve balls, you name it… but I’m prepared for all of that and actually looking forward!
And to end this blog the song of this year:
Life For Rent by Dido
I haven’t ever really found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologies that once again I’m not in love
But it’s not as if I mind that your heart ain’t exactly breaking
It’s just a thought, only a thought
And if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
I’ve always thought that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone and live more simply
I have no idea what’s happened to that dream
Cos there’s really nothing left here to stop me
It’s just a thought, only a thought
And if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
And if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
While my heart is a shield and I won’t let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won’t even try
Well how can I say I’m alive
if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Nothing I have is truly mine
Nothing I have is truly mine
Nothing I have is truly mine
Last week I did more mtn biking: Thursday night at BC with Dave and Mike from SORBA... it was freezing!!! Around high 10s - low 20s.... Then Saturday at DuPont with Jenn and the gang; once again I locked my keys in the car... and you know how the story goes... get a locksmith... etc.
The other days I went to the gym and did my usual weights routines and cardio, trying to get back in shape. I am not sure what has happened to me but somehow I've been gaining weight... yes I am not exercising as much as I used to but.... I am still gaining weight but I can't really see it. Some people tell me that it is muscle but I am not sure... all I hope is to get back in shape.
What else? Well it is getting closer and closer to the day I am leaving Asheville to Harrisburg... I can't believe it... I should be at Harrisburg on Jan 6 so that leaves me less than a month here in Asheville.... I have so many mixed feelings, but I know this is the right thing to do for my career. It only took me one year to "move up" and if I don't do it then I might not have the same opportunity coming my way again...
Well, I am going mtn biking tomorrow and probably this weekend... I'm going to enjoy my last mtn biking trips in Asheville...
Wow...
Yes friends the "Run At he Rock" 7 miles trail running ended up being the most fun I've had in a race thus far! I feel like I've found another "niche" and now that I've done trail running I can't see myself doing road running... trail running is much more fun and challenging... at least I felt it that way.
In addition, this is the furthest running I've done in my life! For real! I think the max I've ran is 3 miles or so... and all on the road or treadmill nothing for real in a trail situation and nothing in a race, of course...
Long story short:
- Get up early to travel 3+ hrs to Burlington NC.
- Got speeding ticket at Winston-Salem for going 20 mph over the limit LOL LOL OMG! I had not idea I was going that fast I was just thinking I was going to be late for the race... Now I have to appear in court, darned!
- Got to the race just in time to get my number, put on my chip, run to the starting line, and run again... no time for warming up or/and stretching after being in the car for so long.
- Did I mention it was a cold morning???
- Ran and the more I did the better I felt... I started to pass people and passed more and got in a good rhythm; attacking the hills and approaching the trailS in the same way I do when I mtn bike.
- When I reached the 3 miles mark I thought, "ok there is just 1 more to go" that was my mentality at each mile... and it made the whole experience nice!
The official time was 1:16:50 and finished 10th in my group (30-39) and 245 from 700 people... not bad! Especially taking into consideration that I haven't trained at all and that, as I mentioned before, I've never done any trail running-race and long distance running.
I am so proud of myself and this is giving me even more motivation to get back to my exercising routine...
Hitting the gym tonight!
I can feel it in my body and I can see it too... I've gained a lot of weight (about 10 lbs!) and I feel lethargic and very heavy. Of course, I should know better... I've been eating the same way I used to before but doing zero cardio... what should I expect?? Right???!!! In fact, people at work are telling me “you’ve gained some weight” Ayayayayay but they say it is good to see that because before, according to them, I was so thin that I really looked sick (which it used to piss me off their comments of “are you ok? You really look sick, you’ve lost a lot a weight).
The worse part is that this Saturday I have my 7 miles trail running race: Run At The Rock at Burlington NC. Holy shit! LOL LOL I am really considering dropping out, but then that would give me another justification to just keep my sedentary life. The good thing is that there are 700 runners so I won't feel like I'll be the only one in the last place LOL, hopefully...
Oh boy... I really need to start training again... I miss mtn biking... Darn daylight savings too! I can't do much because by the time I get off work is dark. Sure I have my very expensive light that I've only used twice LOL but I need to find people that would ride in the dark (not a wise decision to go alone, yes). The other option is to get up early in the mornings and go biking before work... which it is really feasible and I can make an effort to do it although I am NOT a morning person.
And to top things starting next year I've been doing a lot of traveling so I won't be all the time in Asheville... Mmmm oh well....
Enough excuses, I just need to move my ass and start with the training again... starting from zero.
Let's see how things go this Saturday, yay!
Till then, move your ass and keep on training!
I know the season just started and I know very well how it has gone every season in the past… but this time I feel different about them… I feel like finally we’ve found the right recipe to move forward and be a really good team… the one that can make everyone forget about the curse of the Shaquino or the “old good times” of Shaq and Penny… I feel like dancing just like D-Howard does every time before a game starts...
Dwight Howard is blossoming into a monster on the paint and, pardon to other great players, THE BEST center in the NBA. He is so athletic, fast, and dominant… he takes my breath away every time he does one of his thundering dunks…
And now with Rashad Lewis we are able to hit teams from the inside and outside… in with Dwight and out with Lewis, Hedo, and even Bogans… I mean what the heck is that? Bogans was never an outside shooter, he was just a great defender and now he is 4th on the NBA on 3 pts made??? This is absolutely insane… I mean it… you might not understand unless you are a die hard Magic fan as I am…
Ahh I am so happy… I just hope things keep on going our way… Thanks Stan VG (our coach) for taking the job after we were ridiculed by Billy The Kid (Donovan), thanks for believing that the Magic was just steps away from being a contender on the East…
Sunday when we beat the almighty Celtics I was so emotional that I couldn’t help it to sheer some tears LOL LOL… it made me wanting to be back at “home” at the Amway Arena sharing the win with my brothers/sisters = other Magic fans LOL LOL.
As the slogan for this season says the Time is Now, Be BOLD, Be BLUE…
Till then, LET’S GO MAGIC!!!
I can summarize my Swank 65 adventure in two words: tough and crazy.
Wow, it was really hard! I really underestimated the power of Pisgah and mtn biking it for 42 miles… well… sort of… I’ll explain in a bit…
To start with, I was late to the race… yup I’ve said it before, I was born with the “late genes” and no matter what I do I am usually late to everything. Well, the race was supposed to start at 10 am and I got there at 10:15 am… no time for much… grabbed my bike, backpack, number, had some quick instructions by the organizer, and go….
I was able to catch up with some of the racers at the first pit stop. This first section was not back at all… just some up hill and nice trail… but ahhhh that was just the beginning.
After that pit stop things started to get ugly… the trails got more difficult… and while I was crossing a stream I felt and hit my knee against a rock just on the “sweet” spot, after that I was not the same… my knee was super swollen in addition that I was wet and my feet started to freeze up… (see pic of the knee).
Well I kept on going… no time to waste…
Second pit stop. My mind started to play tricks with me… I thought about giving up… my knee was getting worse… but I just kept on going. This was THE MOST difficult part of the race in the mental aspect, believe me, I almost cry couple times LOL, I screamed “OH GOSHHHHHHHHH” … thanks to Pilot Mtn Rd!!! The whole time I was thinking "ok logic tells me that if you keep going up there is a point you go down..." and I kept on going and going and going but the whole time it was up and up.
Well, I kept on going… but after the concussion I was not the same… I managed my mind in to not giving up but by then my body gave up. I pushed it a little more but my knee couldn’t go any further… I was mostly falling all the time… I was dizzy… and well… I didn’t finish the race… I only did 32 miles…
Yeap 32 miles… long day! And only 6 miles left to finish the race… so close… so far…
Overall, I am proud of myself! And I know I’ll finish it next year!
I have my Swank 65 number right here in my office…. As a good reminder to never give up and to make my mind and body stronger!
Next month Dec 1 is my 7 miles trail run “Run at the Rock” let’s see how that goes… and well I’ll start mtn biking again (my knee is fine now) tomorrow and this weekend. BTW, I am going to be a bike Marshall for the AVL Downtown X-Mas Parade this Saturday, yay! LOL LOL Let's see if I find some antlers of something to decorate my helmet LOL.
Till next update stay strong and keep on biking!
I just hope I can be ok and finish the race... I hope I don't suffer any major accidents and enjoy the 6-8 hrs of suffering I'll encounter on Sunday at wonderful Pisgah.
I must confess that I am a little hesitant about the race especially due to the lack of training these past two weeks (although I've gone to the gym and done weights)... I've thought about dropping out but I can't do that, it goes against my principles.
Anyways, let's see how things go... I'll post the out coming of my adventure next week…
Till then use warm clothes and go mtn biking!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Yes friends… I did freaking 3 laps = 24 miles of one of the most horrible experiences I’ve had thus far on my young mtn biking addiction. As much as I try to look at the “fun” side of it I was not able to do so…
- 200 lmn riding light: $300
- Three mtn bike tubs: $15
- Long sleeve mtn bike shirt: $25
- Long biking tights: $30
- Cool weather mtn bike gloves: $20
- Two tanks of gas for round trip: $60
OMG could you believe that my first race is this Saturday? And I haven’t done any training on the dark! I just hope I make it alive!My friend Jenn said that it looks like it is going to rain all this week… darn… I hope not and even if that’s the case I need to do some training!
Also, my other fellow mtn biker junky, Allan, left me a comment asking how my Swan training is coming… uyy… I don’t know LOL at least now I have the 780 map so I can bike around and hopefully not get lost, but I don’t know… I think I am going to die at the Swank. Dave from PAS told me that he’ll do the Fishery Hatch (is that the right name? LOL) ride with me on 11/3 but I doubt it… that’s the same weekend PAS is working at DuPont.
Oh and my Saturday night out adventure? Bah… that’s all I have to say… thanks in part to that I had to take a rest Sunday… Oh lazy day with Herr Faust Picasso (see picture).
Every time I hear the name "Pisgah" I think of pissing... not sure why... it is like when I hear "dejavu" I think "dejabrew" LOL LOL I know makes no sense but I am like that...
Remember the song by Hootie and the Blowfish I think the name was "Hold my Hand" when he sings "with a little bit of love and...." up to today I have no idea what he says but I sing it this way "with a little bit of love and M&Ms" LOL LOL.
Ok enough of my wondering mind... Friday, I went to BC and did about 2 hrs and a half of biking (left work early) and when I noticed it was already 7ish by the time I got home it was late 7ish and by the time I took a shower blah blah blah it was passed 8 so I decided to stay home and just not go to the Downtown Assoc. party.... Oh big deal, I was not in the mood to socialize anyways.
Today I did almost 4 hrs at Pisgah with Dave, Valerie, and Mike from SORBA... Ouch all I can say... the hills were hard specially because of all the lose rocks and the downhills were hard too... and guess what? I got not one but TWO freaking flat tires!!! the front and back one... I was a lucky girl today. Oh yeah and more bruises and cuts thanks to those darn clips LOL...
See the latest addition to the collection of cuts and bruises... but it is ok... at least I am still alive!
Tomorrow? Some more riding... I hope! I am going out tonight (WOWOWOWOW LOL) to meet a friend of one of my "gays" LOL and then go dancing with my gays because my dearest one: Mario told me that I don't love him anymore LOL ohhh gay drama!
Note: blogger is not working for pics so that piece of beauty = beat up leg LOL must wait for some other time...
Till then keep on biking and bowing to the Queen = Pisgah
Last week I didn't do much of a ride I mostly focused on running and in making it alive from my first trial of mtn biking with "real shoes" = cleats.
Friday, I did a quick run and finally decided to stop all the bull shit about "uyy I will break my leg or arm if I use the real pedals and cleats" and went to Liberty Bikes and had them put the pedals, got me some shoes, cleats, and a very expensive light (so I can do my night race... Gwezz this light is my Xmas present... it cost a fortune!).
Ahh of course I felt on my first trial with Brian (the guy I always talk to when I go to that store) but after that "first fall" I did well... at least I thought so... Later that night I went to celebrate one of my friends' b-day... that was the first time in a while that I've hanged out with her and her friends and it was nice but at the same time it reminded me the "I am too old for that shit" sort of deal... I was more worried about them getting drunk and driving than enjoying the atmosphere and their company... Mmm...
Saturday, met Amy and Jenn for a new adventure: Laurel Mtn at Mill River. Well it took us a while to get there, we got a little lost but after some driving up and down Mills River we found the place!
I got ready with my new shoes and felt just a the start of the ride, puff... but it wasn't that bad! About 5 minutes into the ride I heard a noise and Jenn asking "are you ok?" (I was the last on the line because I knew I was going to be falling all the time thanks to the infamous shoes), when I looked I saw Amy on the side on the trail/mtn.
Well, she felt and had a really nasty cut... gosh poor woman... but kudos to Amy, she kept it together, didn't panic and was a strong woman! We went back to the car... Jenn did a little first aid... but Amy really needed more than just a little first aid. At the end she got some stitches and will be out of biking for 12 days or so.
Ok after that experience... Jenn and I decided to go to Fletcher Creek... good/tough ride! Of course, I felt like mmmm 10 times to the square LOL? Some were just little falls... others were big time! Especially at Spencer Branch, I even went over the handles! Gosh I really ended up with super bruised and beat up legs (today, they look like a eggplant LOL), but it was all worth it! LOL (see pics).
Sunday, I didn't do anything... once again I didn't go to church... I mean I could barely move! My legs really got a good beat up! Nevertheless, I feel really proud of myself for learning the cleats trick/ride and not giving up even when it hurt!
This week... more training: trail running and mtn biking. I must start doing 5 hrs mtn bike rides this weekend otherwise I am going to die when I do the Swank 65.
More updates as the week goes by....
Sunday: met with the Asheville Women Clycling Club and other girls from SORBA and just around Ashevegas... it was cool to meet other female mtn bikers... I also had my first flat tire ever!!! but Amy (see her in action) took over and fixed it. It was good to see her in action because now I think I know how to change a tube.
News for this week: I've been feeling "under the weather" and it is Thursday and I haven't done any mtn biking... however, yesterday I did about 45 min trail running... that was a blast! And I think I am hooked with the trail running... it is way more fun than road running... so I'll probably run on the trails again tonight and then gym time. I want to do long mtn bike rides this weekend... about 4-5 hrs each day and then gym time... you might ask why?Well, this crazy woman has signed up for couple mtn bike races (my firsts ever): the Into The Dark at VA (16 miles on the dark) and the craziest one: Swank 65 which is 65K on the Pisgah forest, yay!
I am also thinking about doing some duathlons (mtn biking and trail running) in the coming weeks before my big test: Disney Half Marathon...
Till then stay crazy and keep on biking!
Tonight is the finale of Top Chef... oh wow what a great day LOL... I know what a geek, right? But I can’t help it, I’ve become a Top Chef fan and they have inspired me to start cooking more at home. In addition, I have become a big fan of the final 3:
- Casey: oh man I wouldn’t mind to date her if she would ask me to go out with her I would say yes in a nanosecond… she is so darn cute, has an amazing smile, and she can cook really good food!
- Dale: oh my gay boy… he is so sweet and gay LOL LOL how can’t you like him? I think he would make a perfect gay friend plus I like the fact that he always takes his chances!
- Hung: oh the heartless LOL everything has a way to be in science… he produces beautiful dishes but at times I wonder where’s his heart?
I think Hung might win because he just makes perfect dishes, but he is arrogant and the lack of heart is a big deal. Dale is just a sweetheart and he cooks great food but sometimes he goes way too wacko. Casey, to me, is the most in the middle… she makes great meals, her dishes are nice, and she has a heart… but she seems to get down under pressure. So who would win? Not sure… my heart goes with Casey, my head with Hung, and my guts with Dale LOL.
All this Top Chef makes me a times want to just leave my corporate finance job, pack my stuff, and just move somewhere else and become a chef LOL move to NYC and struggle as a “not too young wanna be chef” or go to Portland-Seattle… ah… maybe someday!
So Hump Day... “my humps my humps my lovely lady lumps in the back and in the front” LOL…
Tonight I am going to the gym instead of biking… I was meeting Mr. Triathlon Man (Brian) but he is going to ride too late and I don’t have lights, which reminds me that I really need to get some lights (writing it down on my list of “freaking things I need”).
It looks like my week is now full thanks to my mtn bike addiction:
- Thursday: meeting PAS at Turkey Pen for a 1.5-2 hrs ride.
- Friday: meeting a new friend, Jenn, at BC for a ride.
- Saturday: meeting Mr. UniMan for the Hardtimes Challenge that he told me about… that should be fun!
- Sunday: meeting the AWCC for a ride in the afternoon. I am very excited to meet more ladies mtn bikers and Becca, one of the leaders.
In another note I was thinking... that almost everyone I’ve been meeting, becoming friends with, going out with, and/or mtn biking with have a broken heart or have had their hearts recently broken. How amazing! I think we can make a group called The Broken Hearts Club. Their boyfriends broke up with them, their dating scene is not going well, their partners left, they just ended 7-8 years relations, their girlfriends cheated on them… etc. Oh Lord all that makes me even more un-wanting to put myself out there, beside I am still recovering and I need my time. At the same time, I can’t stay hanged out forever in a relation that didn’t work (perhaps for the best of both) and maybe let the right person go by…
I should write or make a book about this…
I love the way the trees leaves start to change in color and the weather starts to get cooler... even the smell in the air is different... oh and with that said I can't wait to mtn bike during the cooler weather! LOL
Ah yeah this past week was a perfect week for mtn biking... the weather was gorgeous and the climate was just perfect, not too hot not too cold... the skies were blue and the nights were bright and beautiful with full or almost full moons. All these scenes make me fall more and more in-love with mtn biking, isn't that crazy? Mtn biking makes me feel happy, content, in-love, alive, peaceful… and a bunch of more good attributes you can think of.
Summary of last week:
- Tuesday: Kitsuma about 12 miles and some on the dark (see prior post) with Mr. UniMan (Jeff).
- Wednesday: Met a friend (Frank) at Jack of the Woods to talk about some of his projects. Later that night had dinner with UniMan; he sprang his ankle really bad on Tuesday, so I wanted to check on him and make sure things were ok.
- Thursday: Bent Creek approx 14 miles; got lost on the woods and it got dark… I didn’t have a light with me (yes I know extremely stupid!) so I rode thinking about momma bear on a trail attacking me… OMG I rode the trails like crazy… I really did a hard leg work-out, but I was able to finally find my way on the woods and make it to the parking lot.
- Friday: low key day. Prepared dinner to welcome the fall season… it was nice to share that with friends.
- Saturday: Bent Creek ride about 12-13 miles = Wolf Branch to Ingles Gap to Hickory Loop to Sidehill to Lower Sidehill to Deerloop to Hardtimes connector to parking lot.
- Sunday: Bent Creek extravaganza with PAS group… all over the place we ended up doing about 16-17 miles… it was a really nice ride!
And this week? Not sure… I am taking off today and tomorrow to go to the gym… might ride Wednesday; Thursday riding with UniMan, maybe take off Friday, Saturday probably do the long version of Fletcher Creek and Sunday meeting the Asheville Women’s Cycling Club for a nice ride in the afternoon…
We shall see what this week brings! Until then, NaNu NaNu!
Yesterday, I met my friend Jeff (aka Mr. Unicycle Man) to go up to Black Mountain to conquer Kitsuma. This was my very first time there and pretty much my first time doing a ride at Black Mtn.
Thus far, it is THE most technical ride I've done! The uphills were tough... to points that I had to just hike them... there were too many tree roots and obstacles making it difficult to get any traction on the uphills.
Once we got to the top of Kitsuma the fun/scary/crazy part started. OMG, OMG... that's all I started to say when I saw the downhill... and that was just the first one LOL... the rest got more scary and tough.
There were times I really thought I was going to fall off the trail and end up going down the mountain... it really was scary and I had my heart pumping all the way thru the ride!
After the mtn part was over, we had a tedious uphill ride on concrete for what it seemed to me hrs... but it was just about less than 1 hr or so... however, we did it wearing lights because by the time we were done with the mtn part of Kitsuma it was dark! That's a first one for me... riding in the dark.
Thanks Mr. UniMan for taking me there and allowing me to conquer and experience the freakiest (thus far) ride of my young mtn biking addiction LOL.
This Friday I found myself using that phrase… it was a strange Friday that’s for sure… but the rest of the weekend was just peachy. This is a recall of my weekend:
Friday: I don't eat much candy and I am not a sweet tooth person, but I confess... I love Tootsie rolls... and I ate a bunch of them thanks to my trip to HR to talk about petty cash (darned blame on that! LOL). See pic... I ate all of them in minutes!
Later that afternoon/evening, I volunteered at the beer booth, as usual, for last Downtown After 5 event. It was hectic, but I really enjoyed it… there were a lot of pics taking and hugs and good wishes to the volunteers… some people even made friendships during the volunteering process…
After finishing my shift, I met with some of the PAS people (mtn biking) and we talked about rides, bikes, accidents LOL, trail preservation, and future adventures (we are planning to go camping to Tsali for a weekend and to Dupont in Nov). Later on, I had a bite to eat… and then I thought “mmm I haven’t been to the gay clubs in a while I wonder what’s happening”… so I went to the lesbian club: Hairspray.
Pufff the place changed a little bit but everything else is that same… the DJ sucked (doesn’t make any mixes and puts a lot of booty call music), the girls there are not too attractive and/or could care less to make eye contact with me, and I just felt “too old for that sh*t” LOL… really… I ended up reading an article about Mika and drinking less than half of my beer. Then, I started to think too much and even became a little nostalgic.
As I was leaving (around 12 am), I saw my ex’s best friend there… I felt really weird, not that I got busted because well I am single again, it is just that the way I always saw her was around my ex or around my ex’s friends… It was really stupid from my part because didn’t know what to say! I barely say hi… and left. From that shocking experience or reaction I went to Scandals (the gay club) because I needed to dance… I just wanted to let everything out… dance with the electronica music… the last time I went dancing was the night my ex pretty much decided she didn’t want to further continue our relation… so this was, in a way, a form of moving on and conquer my problems/fears.
Couple girls came and tried to dance with me… but I moved away… I am not interested in that anymore… I didn’t even had a single drink!… I just wanted to dance alone and sober… once again “I am too old for that sh*t” and could care less about picking up drunk girls in a gay club! I actually gave one of them a ride to her place... I was really worried that some guy or girl would have taken advantage of her, gosh she was so drunk! How sad!
Saturday: got up early to meet some fellow PAS mtn bikers to do Mills River at 9:30 am. I got there but I didn’t see anyone! Not sure what happened but, in any case, I went for the ride alone. I went up to Trail Ridge to Spencer Branch to Fletcher Creek Rd to Fletcher Creek Trail intersecting Middle Fork and the little creek –that wasn’t that little and got really wet- back to Fletcher Creek Trail to Reservoir to the parking lot. When I was riding Fletcher Creek Trail I looked down and saw the little turtle walking on the trail like nothing… it was so cute! (see pic). I enjoyed this ride… it was long, muggy, and wet… a lot of tree branches smacking me and the fields were high… but a great ride!
From Mills River, I went to Bent Creek for my second round of mtn biking (yes I am crazy!). There, I met a new friend Mr. Unicycle Man (see pics)… I’ve seen him before during the week (it looks like we go to Bent Cree the same days on the week), so we started to talk… I mean how crazy is that? Mtn biking is hard enough with two wheels… now with just one! And no breaks! And no gears! Well, we ended up riding together and even doing tricks LOL… He showed me some new/more trails and shared some “horror” stories like the time he was biking and a bear chased him on the trails LOL… We are planning to bike together during the week and next Sunday we are hitting Kitsuma at Black Mtn! He said that I’ll end up unicycling some day… Mmm I am not sure about that one!
In summary, I mtn biked about 5 hrs this past Saturday… that is a new record for me!
Sunday: I took it easy… I was going to go to church but I was sore… I also was going to meet the PAS people at 10:30 am for a ride at Bent Creek but I was still tired from Saturday… later that day, I went Downtown for some late lunch and to do some work on my laptop…. Then home… and to bed…
And that’s it… more things to come this week… and more mtn biking rides! Oh yeah before I forget... I am over/cured about the "you are great blah blah but not the right person for me" or the "you'll make a great catch for someone" statements... I feel much better about it... and indeed I'll make a superb catch for some lucky lady! =0)
My heart could take a chance but my two feet can’t find a way
You'd think that I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’ no sir no dancin’ today
I don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if I find nothing better to do
I don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Why'd you break it down when I’m not in the mood?
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’…"
-- Scissor Sisters
I feel my dancin’ moves are gone south blue and my spark is gone in the dark… what happened? I am not sure. In every other aspect of my life I feel great and I know/feel a better person everyday but I am struggling a little bit in this area. Maybe people don’t feel the spark with me because I really don’t feel the spark in me LOL makes sense? I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway but the problem is that I don’t feel like taking the chance and the worse is that I don’t feel like dancin in the moves of the right dating/loving way. I think/feel am not over my last relation… at least not yet, perhaps so? I am not sure!
My therapist told me “it is ok to go out in dates, there is nothing wrong with you and because you go out in a date doesn’t mean you are going to marry the person, it is good to meet people that way!” and she adds “you are young, smart, and good looking, a great catch for someone”…
I tell you what; if I hear that “great catch” phrase again I am going to piss all over the person! Yesterday in my 3 hr mtn bike ride I thought about my relations and dating situations to realize that all and I mean ALL (since I came out) have ended up with statements that go like this:
-“You are a wonderful, amazing, thoughtful, sweet, beautiful, smart person, one of the best persons that has come into my life and I am so fortune to have had the opportunity to know you; lucky the one that wins your heart… and when that happens I’ll be really sad… but you are not the right person for me”
-“You are a very lovely person, a little too systematic at times but I know you mean the best, you can be really funny and overall you are beautiful and great, but I prefer to have you just as a friend because you are not the right person for me, but you’ll be a great catch for someone”
- “You are smart, cute, sweet, nice, a sensual kisser, but I don’t feel the spark I need to feel with someone I am dating… you’ll be a great catch for someone for sure”
“Hey there, you didn’t say or do anything wrong or anything to offend me, now I am too busy but I am sure you’ll be a great catch for someone”
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL LOL LOL really! LOL How come they tell me I can be a great catch for the rest of the Universe but I think when the rest of the Universe meets me they might tell me the same LOL LOL, really!
So during my 3 hrs of mtn biking I was thinking “what’s wrong? Why everyone tells me I am all these adjectives but I end up not being the right person for them… where do things go south blue? What is it that all of them have in common? But if all of them say the same then it has to be something related with me?”
I guess this is another of those issues I need to figure out for my own mental safe sakes… It makes me feel strange even if I am not so much into the person… but just having the same thing and phrases over and over makes me wonder… Also, I wonder how come if other people can solve problems that have had an impact on their relations (some of them go to the point of breaking up) and get back together, why are my relations the exception? Again, there is something wrong… maybe is it related to the people I get into relations with? Maybe is the people that chooses me for a relation/dating? Mmmm
Ahh who knows….
In other very important news UCF lost to Texas by just 3 points!!! My boys played a GREAT game and I am so proud of them! I was at the sport bar (I think I was one of the few girls there and the only one wearing my school jersey) the only UCF Knight there vs. a bunch of Texas Longhorns guys… and heck I was jumping around… and getting into trash talking with the guys LOL… Ah what a wonderful Saturday!
The best part is that I looked at them with a tender heart and smile… I don’t feel good or bad, I just feel like “oh” or in a more “Mmmm oh well” way LOL if that makes any sense. I don’t live in the past, but I welcome the experiences in my past life that has shaped me in to the person I am today… and the person I continue to become… It is such a sense of peace and in a weird sense of happiness that makes me feel fine with everything that happens… even content with my life now (of course at times I wish I’ve done things in a different ways or if I’ve know as much as I know about myself now… but all wishful thinking is a waste!).
Last Sunday at church the choir sang “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkel… I sang it out loud…Haven’t we all been in troubled waters in one moment or another of our lives? I’ve been there, I am the first to admit my highs and lows and even swallow my pride and by doing so I’ve found my bridges = friends, family, people at work, church… but the most important bridge I found was myself, all the answers where within me, all the bridges I needed have always been in me…
This song goes to all of you that need a bridge… You can count on me!
When you're weary; feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side oh when times get rough
And friends just can't be found.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
When you're down and out;
when you're on the street;
when evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part
oh when darkness comes.
And pain is all around.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on silvergirl;
sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
Oh if you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Summary of the Weekend:
Friday: Stayed home and had a nice dinner... watched Blades of Glory. What a funny movie! I thought "oh it might be too stupid to watch" and indeed was stupid but super funny! I also had my first martini in while...
Saturday: woke up feeling hanged over (thanks to the martini), but I geared up and went hiking to Chimney Rock (see pic of the area with the waterfall) with LJ. Long hike but nice views... I had a great time walking and talking to LJ and getting to know her better (although all the hiking and talking left us exhausted!)... I really liked her comment about the transgender fly LOL LOL... Had a nice pizza for early dinner at Lake Lure…great way to spend Saturday. Thanks LJ! Then, home to watch some college football, but I didn’t make it pass 9:30 pm… by then I was in bed. Amazing, isn’t it?
Sunday: went to church. I had no idea the hrs have changed. Now we have two services: 9:15 and 11:15 am. Well, I got there to the old hour of 10 am to find out the new change, oh well… I went and had brunch and then to the 11:15 service. It was great! After that, geared up and went mtn biking for couple hrs: Up Pinnacle down to Ingles Fields down to Wolf Branch to Fork Left to some other trail to another to I don’t know where LOL to the parking lot. I did a lot of new exploring that’s for sure! I had the wind knocked out couple times… but it was all good. On my way to Pinnacle couple trees felt down… that was a show! See pic. Later that afternoon and night some football watching and by 10 pm I was in bed until I was abruptly waken up by a call… grrrr… but not a biggie… I went back to sleep.
Now I am at working having a “battle” about the AC. There is one guy here that probably weights like 300 lbs and keeps on getting hot, so he keeps on changing the AC to cold to a point that I can’t feel my fingers… to a point that other people here keep on telling me how cold they are… but they don’t speak up. I tried to approach this issue in a democratic way, but I guess people are afraid to upset this guy (who to me = nothing), so forget about democracy! I’ve become Che Guevara and took into the mission of getting maintenance to set the same temperature we have thru out the plant and to put a key in the thermostats so changes can be done only by maintenance. End of the problem!
OMG OMG OMG College football is here! OMG OMG!!! Another season of suffering just began LOL. Suffering? Yes, suffering as my UCF Knights take the fields to battle another season of hope for this crazy alum.Every year is the same... I start with the OMG that converts, as the weeks go by, into a "bunch of bitches" statement LOL. Yeap, the people that really know me have heard it before... I am one of those that have cried tears of pain at the stadium when my boys lost the C-USA Championship... tears of pain in front of the TV when we went to our first bowl (Hawaii) and lost by a kick-goal... or the season when we lost every single game... Ahhhhh
And I am still the one that wears a UCF shirt and goes to the bar whenever we play on ESPN and say “those are my boys! GOOOO Knights!” or when I see one of our football players now on the NFL I jump and say “he is a Knight yeayayayeieieieieee!” Yeap that’s me the faithful! As good or bad we can be I am proud to call myself a UCF Knight.
With that said I am already feeling a little sick and nervous because the innaguration of our brand new stadium (a piece of beauty by the way) is going to be on Sept 15 and with no other than the Texas Longhorns (ESPN2 at 3:30 pm), whaaaaat???? LOL LOL (that was my reaction followed by a “holy shit!” –That’s how serious this is that I even used profanity-).
Well, it doesn’t matter… maybe we’ll do just fine… or even if we do horrible (and I’ll start saying “please bitches please! Do better for me please!” and going on my knees in a form of pray LOL) I love my school and I’ll be out there proud of my school, wearing a UCF Knights shirt, singing our fighting songs, and doing the sword routine LOL while I’ll be screaming GOOOO KNIGHTS!!!
What a holiday weekend! It was maybe the best I’ve had thus far… at least the first one without an emotional roller coaster! Or as I call it “I can be brown I can be blue I can be violeted sky…” that’s Grace Kelly by Mika LOL.
The more I go on and the more I open my eyes to my soul the more I enjoy my internal peace and the silence and tranquility that brings. Hush from the external noises that have caused me at times to become deaf from my inner voice and even become distant and disconnected from my heart and soul. At the same time it is allowing me to find the peacefulness from the quiet surroundings of nature and the company of places, people, and situations that also bring a sense of no talking and no thinking, just enjoy the moment and smile at the blissfulness of being here and now…
Saturday was a terrific day. I went mountain biking to Bent Creek for 2 ½ hrs. My first ride solo to Greens Lick! Went all over the place as a warm up (basically I got lost LOL) and then up Boyd Branch connecting to Ingles Fields to some other trail down to Greens Lick… what a fun ride! Later that afternoon I met with LJ (first time these initials are appearing on my blog that deserve a hooray), I had a fabulous afternoon and evening talking and getting to know her… and for her to get to know a little bit more about me, I hope we continue to get to know each other more and better! Oh the fly suicide is a classic now! LOL
Sunday, I took it easy. I was sore from my Saturday ride, so I went Downtown for a bit (you know me… I like having lunch Downtown and watch people), then home for a cappuccino and reading and later a movie… Later that night my dearest of friend Dary called me. I am so glad you are out of the quicksand you were at “chancluda”… I missed you so much! I know how hard is to have your heart broken… it sucks… but just remember that means hope and excitement because the right person is still out there. You’ll also be the same thing for that person… love and sharing with another person is great, but the most important love is the one within you and the relationship you have with you… when you love yourself you can let others in… and if that person is at the same loving level as you then Ooh la la! I love you so much and know that I will always be here for you!
Monday another mountain biking day, but this time was a mountain biking marathon! Bent Creek: 2 hrs starting at Ingles Field up to another trail down to Greens Lick. This time I did jumps at Greens Lick, it was crazy! My first 2 major jumps! It was like woowowiieieieieieieeiiiieieie LOL I was in the air (after all my bike is a “stump jumper” so I wanted to put it at test) and I thought “you stupid woman… you are riding alone… what if you fall (which can be really easy because this is a technical downhill) and break something or you neck” Mmmm yeah I thought about it… but then I did another jump… wowowowoiieieieieieieieeee LOL.
On my way home I thought “Mmmm I feel like I haven’t done any biking” so I went to Mills River into Fletcher Creek… another 2 hrs of biking. This trail/ride is really quiet. At BC you always see people (that’s why I was not too concerned about breaking my neck, I figured out someone would find me LOL) but at Fletcher Creek you see trees LOL and horse poop LOL… well… I started to think “are there panthers here? Or bobcats? The two NC pro-teams –NFL and NBA- are named after those animals… Mmm what about bears? “I got a little scared but there it was another hill and another jump wowowowowoiieieieieiieiee LOL so that took care of my fears. Great ride! Almost felt off the trail into the side of the hill, but all good… Got smacked several times by tree harms, legs, and heads LOL… but it was all worth it! =)
Great holiday weekend!
I’ve had conversations about this with my therapist before (yes I go to therapy, why not? I want to be the best I can be and there is nothing wrong with having a professional giving you his/her intake!) and she indicated that the studies show that people should wait at least 3 months before becoming intimate, in that way, they already know each other and won’t fall in the trap of mistaken the sexual connection for trust and knowledge of the person.
Interesting…
Can people really wait 3 months??? Is that possible? What is “normal” in what circumstances? What should the rules be?
I’ve asked some friends about it and they all laughed… most of them told me that by the 3rd date they were already in bed especially in the dynamics of the lesbian world LOL…So if you feel the connection and the intensity, would that be just lust? Can that lust be then developed into knowing/trusting/committing? But also isn’t sex an important part of the process of knowing/trusting? What if you have a great connection with the person, go out 3 months, do all the “right/normal” things and then you find out you have zero connections in the bed? Can that be possible?
I decided to create a survey and see what people in the queer/lesbian community say… of course, I already had some comments (from the older ladies) slapping me because I am asking too much, because who am I to get into their business, because this and that… blah blah… (btw, I really dislike saying the “lesbian community” because I’ve found out a lack of unity and community within and a lot of attacks on each other – OMG like the time I asked for definitions for lesbian, queer, butch, dyke, etc uff).
So here it is the infamous survey: http://www.zoomerang.com/survey.zgi?p=WEB226UWVXBCHV
Let’s see what it’ll reveal!
ABBA, Fletwood Mac, and all those bands that split up because of love issues
1 comments Posted by Yoshitoshi at 12:12 AMWho doesn’t like ABBA? I think I grew up listening to it even though it was almost passed my time and maybe I was still a little kid (4-5 years old?) when they split up… “You are the dancing queen young and sweet only seventeen…” LOL oh that’s like a anthem for all us queers LOL.
All this ABBA thing made me think about love. Love is such a wonderful and messed up thing! Look at all those wonderful groups/bands that split up because of love issues… ABBA, Fleetwood Mac, even Culture Club! (C’mon they were great! Sing with me “do you really want to hurt me? You do really want to make me cryyyy” another queer anthem). You can add as many bands as you want!
Those bands were fantastic at singing about the suffering of love/relations/cheaters/break ups and attacks on each other’s thru their songs… I mean one of the best albums of all times is Rumors by Fleetwood Mac and the whole album is an attack on each other’s infidelities and pissiness (if that is a word) at their relations LOL.
So that’s the thought of the night… Ahh love like U2 says “with or without you with or without you I can’t live with or without youuuu”…
Let’s better sing this song by Harry Nilsson when you are in that uncomfortable line of the “it is over” deal… here it goes for all of you that have had your heart broken by someone:
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearing it apart so f@ck you
All I want to do is have a good time now I’m blue
You won’t boogaloo,
Run down to Tramps, have a dance or two, ooohhh
You’re breakin’ my heart,
You’re tearing it apart but f@ck you
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearing it apart, boo-hoo
You stepped on my ass
You’re breakin’ my glasses too
You won’t drive my car, might be a star
I’ve had enough of you
I’m goin’ insane
There’s no one to blame so f@ck you
You can’t have your way
There’s nothing left to say
There’s nothing left to do, ooooohhh
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearing it apart so f@ck you
You gotta have your way
There’s nothing left to say
There’s nothing left to do, ooooowww
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearing it apart so f@ck you
- Monday: about 1 hr mnt biking at the Mills River.
- Tuesday: conquered Fletcher Creek – mnt biking-
- Wednesday: 2 hrs working out – shoulders and abs- at the gym
- Thursday: mnt biking at Bent Creek
- Friday: about 1 ½ work out at the gym – biceps/triceps and abs
- Saturday: mnt biking for 2 ½ hrs at Bent Creek and then 1 hr quick work out at the gym – chest/back
- Sunday: off
Sunday I woke up and went to church. That place was packed! I didn’t pay much attention to what was going on at church because I couldn’t help it to think/ debate whether to go running on the trails or just go for some treadmill running and legs work out at the gym; my friend Steve called me to ask if I wanted to go kayaking but my mind was determined to go running or the gym so I declined the invitation…
Well, at the end I didn’t do either one. I went home, had lunch, started to watch the WNBA playoff (btw, OMG Becky Hamilton gained some weight but she still looks good/cute and she is still one of my girls ahhh Becky would you go out with me? LOL), then the Little League World Series (aren’t those little boys cute… they really make me go awww), and then I felt asleep. I think my body needed some rest after all.
WTF is going on with the pager-intercom at work? I keep on hearing pu-pu-pu-pu zrrr-zrrrr-zrrr pu-zrr-iee-puie-zrr and when someone tries to page a person it comes out like a bunch of weird noises… It is driving me crazy!
Ok where was I?
Finally it is Monday and I am back at the office… my “to-do” list is getting bigger! And my desk is getting messier and messier… This is just bad, I am not this messy! I need to just put things where they belong so I can actually find the info I need. I am a believer that the only thing you should have at your desk is whatever you are working on at the moment, the rest needs to be filed or out of the way… Mmm
However, that didn't stop me to adventure into the mnts and just do some riding... I rode and rode... after and hour of riding around I met some folks: Lee and Steve. They were catching their breath and we started to talk... so we ended up riding together on the trails.
It was so much fun... we rode together for an hour and a half, they were really nice... I was amazed on well both of them did taking into consideration that they were in their late 50's! I hope I am like them when I am that age.
So what loops did I do? I have no idea... Explore, Sidehill, and other ones that I am not even sure... How many miles? Gosh I really don't know... I think a lot! My legs were burning at the end... I am sure 15 miles or so...
My new found friends (Lee and Steve) are going kayaking tomorrow and they invited me to go with them... I am sure I'll do that in the near future, maybe next weekend but tomorrow is church day... Also, we agreed to go mnt couple times during the week and I can meet them every Saturday... they are always at BC at 10:15 am every Saturday.
Moreover, Lee is very excited when I told her I am from Costa Rica. She is going there on January so she really wants to get together and talk more... I am so blessed for meeting such a nice people!
After mnt biking, I went to the gym and did a quick work out: chess, back, and some abs... just one hour... but it felt great!
I am debating if I should go mnt biking tomorrow after church... maybe I should just take care of things in the house, then go to the gym, and mnt bike on Monday.
Great Saturday! Yeayieee
It was a great ride! This was my first time riding with him and we got to talk a lot (which I was amazed taking into consideration that I am usually out of breath when I mnt bike so I don't talk much), he is a great guy and gave me lots of tips, we also talked about some people we know (here it comes the 2 degrees of separation in Asheville), and I believe this is the beginning of a new good friendship!
We did Sidehill Loop and had a blast! About 8 miles or so it took us about an hour or so... but like I said the best part was the "bounding" process. I won't get to ride with him next week to two weeks as he is preparing for another triathlon in Sept but then we will hit the mountains again!
Saturday morning I'll be meeting another new found mnt biker friend, Tara, for some riding at Bent Creek... Ahhh I can't wait to get out there again!
Raise the glass to Bent Creek.
Next mission: Cleats! That's it... next week I'll start my process of learning how to ride with cleats... Brian gave me some tips (and told me where I can train) and Tara is willing to show me some cleats and help me with that. Yeayiee!
I was so happy because I did it and I did it by myself! However, then I felt sad because the person that got me started on mnt biking is not longer with me… because the only person that knew how important this challenge was to me is gone… and because that was the first person I wanted to call and tell about my conquest... but I must learn to let go and continue with life and that’s what I am doing, I need to do so, I must do so...
Fletcher Creek was a closing and opening of new chapters in my life... and what a dramatic way to do it!
While I was maybe 45 min into the ride it started to rain, I thought it was a little bit of rain… I mean it is summer and it hasn’t rained for a while, but it ended up being a bad storm! It was raining cats and dogs LOL so I took some shelter and waited for the storm to pass by… I was so wet… so my options were 1. keep on going or 2. turn around and get back to the car. I decided to keep on going.
And I kept on going… I didn’t stop… I didn’t get out of the bike… I kept on going… all muggy and all wet but I kept on going… I found my way thru the trails… I kept on going… I took the up hills like nothing, I was just determined to keep on going… on the trail you are supposed to pass over a creek and because it rained that creek was not so little LOL I saw it and thought “holy creek! But here I go!” and I kept on going… it was so thrilling (I even screamed “wowowowoiieieieieiiieee" after passing it).
The down hills sections were killers and the most difficult parts of the ride… I mean it… some of the most difficult I’ve ever down… very tricky, hard, with rocks and because it rained very slippery, but I took them! Couple times I thought “OMG I am about to kill myself” took big breaths and just kept on going and I had a blast… other times I thought “am I on the right way??? This trail looks like no one has come around for a while” but I trusted in myself and all the time I was right on track…
I feel like a billion bucks, really! Now more than ever I know I am a winner, a warrior, a champ! I can conquer anything that comes around… It is all up to me and I tell you I'll never give up!
Thanks you Fletcher Creek! You were a fun ride!
I am excited about mnt biking and I’ll be out there… conquering more trails… I have a trails book and I am determined to conquer each of those trails. I even got a partner in crime, Brian, Mr. Triathlon Man, from all the people I know he is excited about the adventure and is on the wagon with me… we are going Saturday to conquer maybe Middle Fork stepping up a little notch, or just about any place... I'll go with any suggestion Brian might have!
Stay tune! I might go to some other trail tomorrow… we’ll see… BTW, that reminds me, I have 4 months or so before my half marathon, Holy Cow! I better start training… I might consult Brian or even Jessie, another new found friend he runs half and full marathons, to see what they recommend for training.
Yes, that’s me LOL.
There is no question in my mind that I am attracted to women, I am more than 100% sure I am queer (even my dear brother –the queen he is- says that I eradiate a big rainbow flag on my face – I guess his point is that I look queer but I like make-up and try to look like a girl!)… I want to spend the rest of my life with a female partner, have a family with her, live/grow together, and just be happy ever after (I am a romantic and very much believe in love and happiness when you are with the right person).
However, my experiences on the lesbian world have been very limited… at times I thought I figured out how things work… but most of the time I have no idea and end up with a broken heart… I don’t know if a woman is into me or if a woman is lesbian or if I am doing the right things or if I am being too much or too little too pushy or too passive or what the deal is with all that mambo jambo… it is very hard, complicated, confussing, and time consuming… At times I think the whole deal is just ridiculous!
One night I was talking about this with my friends Gina and Emily and they told me that even though they have been in the lesbian world for a while (at least longer than me) it is just complicated! It is always hard to know who is into who and what is what… they pointed out that usually you get a friend and then a group of lesbian friends and that’s how you start the connections and then you date all of your friends in that circle LOL LOL. Oh boy! LOL It made me think of the sitcom Friends… everyone dated everyone!
Do I want that? It would be just weird to date your friend or a friend of a friend or ex of a friend or ex of an ex etc LOL… but then would you just let maybe the future mommy of your baby go by just because of all that connection complication? LOL… Am I thinking too much? Can there be just one person without all this ramifications that ends up being THE one? Can I just have that person and not go around and around in the lesbian world links/connections/collections? Or should I go around and around to figure things out? But I am not getting any younger… maybe that’s why I should go around and enjoy (as I told Gina – in a very kidding note-) “as much insignificant sex with no attachments and emotions with whatever girl crosses my path” LOL or just stay and cross my fingers that the right person will come but if that doesn’t happen then I don’t want to wake up one day when I am 65 alone and ask “what happened?”
At the same time, I am too much of an “old fashioned” woman and I believe in loving/having a strong connection with someone before moving into deeper more intimate levels; I like being nice, sweet, romantic, understanding, considerate, polite, the best I can be for my partner etc… but is that going to get me anywhere especially now in days? I think (and what I’ve seen and experienced) is that most of the “old fashioned” people like me end up being the best friend and not the leading role lady in the movies of life (if that makes sense)...
This Friday I had a good time volunteering… it gave me time to just clear my mind but at the same time think and feel too much… more than I expected… I saw almost all the people I know in Asheville and hanged out with them, which it is weird because I don’t know too many people LOL… I made some new connections and hopefully future friendships… but the deal is that some of them I thought to be gay/lesbian and they ended up being totally straight LOL uh? And all I had (as usually happens) were guys hitting on me… how come?? Maybe I am more opened and comfortable in the straight world that I end up with more straight friends and guys wanting to go out with me than making more gay/lesbian friends and girls wanting to go out with me LO?… Perhaps I need to switch gears and start really showing a rainbow flag or something LOL.
My gaydar is totally broken… and makes me question if I am less lesbian than what I think I am LOL… crazy isn’t it?
I guess I’ll figure things out… eventually… I have some years ahead of me before I start to freak out and end up with 20 cats, 25 Schnauzers, and living deep on the woods LOL LOL… ok too much!
Thanks to Gina for hanging out (or rescuing me from the straight world on Friday) and singing with me “I touch myself” in our way to the New French Bar… Thanks for putting up with me and my complicated/weird conversations LOL… you rock girl!
With that thought in mind I came to the realization that it has been a month since my "very expensive" vacation at the hospital... a month since a lot of things unravel... a month since I was able to finally find the true me inside me and fall in-love with me LOL (that sounded a little narcissist LOL)... I need to celebrate the ends and new begins in my life this weekend, yeayie!
Couple days ago, after converting my apt in a war zone thanks to me re-finishing some furniture, I decided to clean around and vacuum. Ah poor Faust, he really got scare, he doesn't like the noise from the vacuum... When I was done I was looking for him and I couldn't find him... As I started to look around I saw a "pouch" under my bed's covers (see picture) and there he was LOL I thought it was so cute! He really makes me laugh!
Could you believe I am one of the 8,000 privilege people in the world to get tickets for the NCAA Women's Final Four? I feel so especial LOL... I received a letter from the NCAA stating: "we are please to inform you that a random computerized program selected your application for tickets to the 2008 NCAA Women's Final Four... The seating capacity for the 2008 Women's Final Four will be approximately 21,300; and roughly 8,000 tickets were allocated to the general public through this selection process..." I am so excited! So I have two books (the tickets are for the semi and finals)... let's see who the fortunate person is going with me!
Finally, what's the deal with 72???? I've had that number in my head since Monday... and again this morning I woke up thinking 72 Mmmm another of those mysteries...
Friday: I went to have dinner with my friends Gina and Emily well at least that was the plan… I was making my way to Downtown when I got stuck in traffic… I thought it was the Friday afternoon/night rush, but it ended up being a nightmare… I was stuck in traffic for an hour or so! At the end, when I finally made it to Downtown my friends were having dinner, so we re-grouped a little later that night. We went to the coolest bar that I’ve been here… The Skyland… it is located on the balconies of one of the buildings at Downtown… amazing views. As always, I had a great time with the girls… I enjoyed talking Spanish with Emily…Saturday: I decided to go “furniture hunting” to Habitat for Humanity, Goodwill, and antique stores. Why? Well I don’t to pay a leg and an eye for furniture; moreover, I have this “picture” in my head of what I want for furniture and my place to look like (straight lines, clean, and simplistic and sort of modern)… when I look at the components of this “picture-furniture” around furniture stores/internet they cost a lot…
I ended up driving around… went to Hendersonville for the first time since I moved here… Did I miss anything? No… Hendersonville is an old/sort-of-boring town, but they have a cute little mini-golf place LOL anyways... I was able to have the biggest breakfast of my life… for real… when I ordered I never thought it would be that big especially for $5.50… it can feed 2-3 people! My gosh… who can eat all that? LOL It took two plates!!!! (see picture).Well, I found most of the furniture I was looking for at the Habitat for humanity and antiques stores in Asheville, places I’ve never really been at before! My buys: a coffee table, end table, dinner table and the two coolest chairs I’ve seen in a while…
Sunday: I didn’t go to church because I decided to continue unpacking and getting my place in a more livable situation. I also went to Lowes to find some of the components I’ll need to “fix” and change the furniture to the way I want it and the colors… Do I know how to do all this stuff? Heck no… Even though I am a lesbian (uy that sounds weird... LOL... I prefer to call/see myself as a "queer woman) and people say that "lesbians" know everything related to home improvement, I really don’t have much “handing/fixing” genes in me LOL… but last night I managed to start on the “fixing” projects and now I am excited! Plus I can tell the ladies “hey look at what I did with my two little hands… I am very handy… don’t I?” LOL that might help me on the wooing process LOL (just kidding!). See picture of the cool chairs (well they are cool to me!). C’mon the “lamb” thing that they use for the gyro sandwich is not really lamb is like saying bologna is prime rib LOL, that “gyro” meat is full of fat (I would think it has 2000 calories from which 1750 are from fat LOL) and probably mice feet LOL LOL… but heck this woman had a crave for a gyro so there!
While they were preparing the sandwich I was looking at the cheesy poster they had of a “sort-of-Greek-looking” woman with her mouth open ready to devour the delicious gyro… it looks like the “monopoly” for gyro “stuff” is a company called Kronos. I started to wonder “do people know who Krono was?”… Of course I know it because 1-I know the most unexpected things (such as why cocktails are called cocktails LOL) and 2-I love Greek/Italian mythology.
Then I started to look at the process of how they were preparing the gyro and I thought about the way it was being done also at Bele Chere, and then I thought about prior experiences too… they put the “gyro meat” into a grill and cook it… and then they put the pita bread on the grill too to get it warm… so why is it gyro called gyro when the meat is not in a rotisserie/gyro anymore? Should it be called “Flat-ro”? but then it is called Gyro because of the original way the meat was cooked or because the sandwich components are rolled into a pita?
Hmmm something to think about…
Today my immediate boss has achieved the level I haven’t been at in a while… he totally pissed me off (yes not upsetting… nop… pissed me off!).
I don’t get it, is he becoming a woman? I know that comment is a little sexist but… we women are well known for our wonderful hormones that make us go into “yes-no” moods in nanoseconds. Well, my boss is getting to be like that. He tells me one thing and then he sends an email to everyone (including the Holy Trinity) saying something different than what he asked me to do…
So in the mist of all these swingings I vocalized (in my office with the door closed, of course, LOL) “me cago en Tencha!” The people that know me know that I don’t say any kind of profanity, do I think about it? Of course! I am human… but do I say something? Usually no… The translation of “me cago en Tencha” is “I shit on Tencha” LOL.
Well I started to think why Costa Ricans say they shit on poor Tencha? And who was Tencha anyways? LOL LOL and why is she being abused to the point that people are shitting all over her? Would that be a sign of discrimination against women? But if so why even us, women, shit on her? Is that putting something in our subconscious that make us, women, be ok if others shit on us? LOL what would Tencha represent? Would Tencha be = to all frustration of the human race? Was the shitting on Tencha based on actual facts that were so impacting that have been passed from generations to generations of Costa Ricans? LOL LOL...
Oh the infinitive sky of possibilities and questions…
Maybe Tencha represents a lot of things… maybe all those unexplainable forces… or maybe the explainable forces that people decide to overlook just because... or logical things that we try to not pay attention such as the principles of economics “nothing is free”… you know your free lunch cost something to someone else…
Mmmm something to think about in my afternoon break.
Gina said that it would be a memorable way to celebrate my b-day… after all, who can say that they did that on their b-day? Well, my options would have been: stay at home, eat fried chicken LOL, keep unpacking, and hear Faust mewing like crazy… or… go out with Gina and her friend and laugh at the irony of doing our first speed dating event ever on my b-day… Mmmm
Well, I got myself ready and as a good trooper went for it, of course, not with any purpose of finding a date or my soul mate LOL, I just went to support Gina and to just get out of the house. Also (here comes once again the 2 degrees of separation in Asheville)… Gina said I would meet her best pal Emily; she said she was cute, nice, and one of the few single lesbians in Asheville LOL (which it is a hot commodity). I’ve heard that name before… it is just weird that people have mentioned “you have to meet Emily,” and this is the weirdest part…
Yesterday (before knowing I was going out), I was having an email conversation (if that make sense) with my friend Liza. In one of the emails she said that I needed to meet Emily, especially now that I am hanging out with Gina, so I could talk Spanish with her. Once again… the Emily name. I thought she was one Liza's friends that I met sometime ago during movie night at the Westville Pub… her partner’s name is Allyson and that’s why I remembered her… anyways…
Liza told me that that was Anna (LOL LOL the one I met at movie night) and no… that I haven’t met Emily… because she is her ex. Oh! So last night I met the famous Emily. She is really nice… I was amazed on how well she speaks Spanish (being a gringa)… we ended up speaking about Latin music, adventures, wine, sports, gym, work, etc in Spanish… she was really cool and I hope we get to hang out again, in fact, it would be cool to form a Spanish night with her and Anna… so we’ll see. The other funny thing is that she told me that other people have told her she should meet me so she could practice Spanish with moi.
Continuing with the speed dating deal, even though Emily and I were hesitate to do the event, we were good troopers and did it so Gina won’t be alone… it actually ended up being a lot of fun… just laughed so much at things… It allowed me to meet more people and hopefully develop more friendships like with Emily!
Later that night, we ended up in another bar well known for their desserts… Gina got me a slide of cake… they put a little candle and sang “feliz cumpleños” to me…
I had a blast… it ended up being one of the best b-days I've ever had… Thanks girls you made my night!
